Devil's Trap Parody
by SamandDeany
Summary: This is my weird humour at work. Have fun reading it...if you can. By Sam. jokes assisted from Deany, with her stupid behaviour
1. The Road So Far

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything you recognise. But jeez I wish I owned Dean and Sam. But you guys can have Clark. And I'll just go kill John. Bye:P

**Author's Note: **I'm so sorry if I offend anyone. This is just meant to be for a little fun. Hell, this is my favourite episode. So if I can make fun of it, surely you can accept it? Anyway, I'm babbling. Constructive criticism is good, but flames never helped anyone. I have no beta, just my lovely self and a spell check.

**The Road So Far**

Fade in to John. "All our lives we've..." Something interrupts him. "What the hell is that?" He listens real closely, until...

"Great weather we have here today at..."

"Damn football! Taking over my air time." (A/N: Don't ask.)

Dean is cleaning his guns with Sam. "Hey Sam."

"Yeah."

"If I ever become a woman named Monica, make sure you shoot me before I have to crawl up to some guy to ask a demon if it's possessed any witches lately."

"O...k...?"

"And make sure I don't like being a girl."

"Alright, I'm leaving now." Sam walks out of the room.

"Oh come on Sam. Come back!"

We see John talking to the boys. "We finally know where this demon's going to be."

Then Clark Kent appears out of thin air. "Black! Black like your heart!...And it's red." He giggles like a school girl then leaves just as quickly.

John points to where Clark just was. "Do you boys have any idea what that was about?"

"Eh...no." Sam tells him.

"No fucking idea." Dean informs him.

"Don't fucking swear." John tells his son, like the hipocrite he is.

"I'm ending it. I don't care what it takes." John tells his sons seriously.

"Even if you have to..." Sam starts to ask him, but Dean interrupts.

"Stop right there Sammy." But John still knows what he was going to ask.

"Okay, maybe I do care what it takes."

"I wish I could spell." Kelsey adds.

"Who the fuck are you?" All three ask the girl.

"A vision?" The eldest Winchester asks the youngest.

"Yeah, you know, the same kind of thing you had. I read it in your diary."

"You read my diary?"

"You have a diary?" Dean asks his father. John blushes. "And I thought I was a pansy."

"We know you have the gun John. You just declared war." Meg tells him over the phone.

"I'll bring you the colt."

"No John, the gun." She tells him, thinking he means cult.

"Yeah, the colt."

"The gun."

"The colt?"

"The gun!"

"Okay guys. This could go on all night, so let's just hang up." Interrupts the voice of Shari, who tapped into their conversation.

"Who the fuck is this?" Meg and John ask together.

Demon Jr just shot Meg. "You shot me! I can't believe you just shot me! You are so going down." She grabs a machete from nowhere. "Moo-ha-ha-ha."

"I like chicken." Cassie says. (A/N: Not Dean's ex.)

Meg stops chasing her brother. "Do you know what the hell that was Daniel?"

"No, but she looked like my sister."

"I'm your sister!"

"...Shut up."

Sam shoots the demon. "Dean! Dad gave us the wrong gun!"

"Oh shit."

Sam grabs Dean and shove im up against a wall, getting really close. "Dude. You're all up in my personal space." Dean tells his brother.

"Sorry." Sam clears his throat and lets him go.

**End 'The Road So Far'**

**Author's Note: **Please review! But I'm not holding my breath. I might die. Tell me what you think though, so I know whether to continue or not. Part 2 coming soon...or is it? _Starts to laugh evily, but it backfires as she starts to cough_


	2. Chapter Won

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything you recognize. But jeez I wish I owned Dean and Sam. But you guys can have Clark. And I'll just go kill John IF he agrees to come back on Grey's Anatomy as Denny. :D

**Warnings**: Language

**Author's Note: **More randomness. Me going insane. And I decided to put more then 5 chapters otherwise it would've taken me forever and you guys would've never gotten an update. Also, if you know you're going to be offended, don't read, as simple as that. But if you do read on and you're offended I'm sorry. Also, my computer has crashed so you might have to wait a while to get another update………….again.

* * *

**Start actual...thingy**

A phone rings.

"Listen damn it! I don't want your stupid phone plan!" Megs yells into the phone.

"Uh Meg, honey, it's me."

"Listen daddy, I can't talk right now. I'm waiting for a call from the Winchesters. Bye. Love you."

"Love you too sweetie." (A/N: Aww. Demons feel as well. :P)

The phone rings again.

"I told you daddy..."  
"I'm your daddy know?"  
"Oh, sorry Dean." She clears her throat. "'You boys screwed up big time."

"Where is he?"  
"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes, I would. That's why I asked."

"...Shut up."

"You're stupiy." Kelsey tells Meg.

"And you are?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." Kelsey disappears.

"Anywho...you'll never see your father again."

"Yes I will, it's in the script."

"Shut up Dean! We're not meant to know that until after we kill her." Sam tells his brother.

"And the audience wasn't meant to know that I die!"

"Alright, I gotta hang up now. Talk to ya soon love."

"Dude. That's so not cool, but bye anyway."

"You hang up."

"No. You hang up."

"Why don't you both hang the fuck up?" Dean takes Cassie's (A/N: Yet again, not the ex, and never will be, because I hate the bitch. Oh, and it's a different Cassie as well) advice and hangs up.

"Well I ain't ever gunna go out with him." Meg says to herself.

"They've got dad."

"Meg?"  
"No shit Sherlock. You just 'spoke' to her."

"...Shut up. What did she say?"

"I just told you Sammy."

"Oh yeah. The whole hang up battle."

"...Shut up. Okay. We gotta go?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm the oldest and we always do what I say."

"What about the whole demon knows we're in Salvation thing?"

"What about it?"

Clark Kent enters the scene. "This looks like a job for...um...Me-man!!!!" He leaves just as quickly.

"O...K...then." Sam and Dean say together.

"Dude. That's like happened twice today."

"Plus all the other randoms."

"You know what? This next bit is pointless. It's just me whining about how we should go and you disagreeing so lets have some randoms jump in and say something."

"I agree." Sam agrees. All the randoms rejoice.

"Snakes...on a plane!" Kelsey starts to laugh.

"Touch me." Cassie starts giggling.

"We all know frogs go pop in the microwave. Pop in the microwave. Pop in the microwave." Shari sings.

"Dude!!!!!!!!!!" Clark says. (A/N: I don't get it either.)

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**Author's Note: **So, how did you like it? Was it worth the wait? Tell me in your review. I need 5 reviews of this chapter to continue. KIDDING! I hate it when people do that. Alright, I'll go now and let you get on with your day………or night………….whatever. 


	3. Chapter Too

**Disclaimer:** None of this is mine, not even the plot. I only own Cassie and Kelsey and Shari. What kind of shit are you smoking if you think otherwise? You gotta learn to share. :P

**Author's Note:** Ayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm back. Not as funny as it was, a few things have happened, but still, at least another chapter is done. Just be happy about that. So, yeah, be prepared to not laugh. Insert thing about criticism. Oh, I have a beta, but this still remains un-betaed. So any mistakes are my own.

* * *

The camera pans in on a truck with………………no dog on it.

"Where the fuck is that dog?" The cameraman exclaims as he looks down. He sees it humping his leg. "What the fuck? Meg!"

"Yo. What do you want? I'm not meant to come in yet, am I?"

"No! Just make sure you kill this thing. Get lost you stupid mutt." He kicks out at it and hits his toe on camera stand thing. Yeah.

"Serves ya right." The dog remarks. Everyone just stares.

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"Hey baby. Let's go destroy a galaxy together."

"What the shit? We're bottles and we're talking. Oh, my Go---AHHHHHHH!"

"Here ya go." Bobby tells Hotness Personified, I mean Dean.

"Dude, back away from my man!" says Kelsey and Cassie (**A/N:** I decided to do only one Cassie, or I would get confused.) together.

_Get stuffed. He's mine. Now get back into your cages before I beat you. I mean………Ah, screw it. Get lost._

"What is this? Holy water?" Dean ploughs on, like nothing happened.

"That one is. This is whiskey. That one is. This is whiskey. That one is. This is whiskey."

"Ah, Bobby?"

"That one is. This is whiskey. That one is. This is whiskey. That one is. This is whiskey."

Dean sighs and throws his head back. "Jess!"

_What?_

"What the hell are you doing to Bobby?"

_Making him my puppet. Like I can do to you, unless you decide to get back to work. Now come on come on, we haven't got all day._

"Alright, just stop doing that."

_Fine._

"That one is. This is whiskey……………………… That one is. This is whiskey."

_Before anyone says anything, I'm finished. I just needed to get that out of my system._

Bobby takes a swig and Dean follows suit.

_Alchomaholics! And I've just realised I paused the DVD in a really weird place, so I'm going to start laughing now._

"Thanks for everything Bobby." Dean tells this new hunter who we've never seen before and take for granted he's one of the good guys and didn't just spike that whiskey to knock out Dean. Enough said. "And when I say everything, I mean everything."

"That's okay man." Bobby pulls Dean into a manly hug with lots of grabbing and shit.

"He's gay!" Shari exclaims then burst into tears.

_No my dear, he's not. Though, through my sexual innuendo and stuff, I see how you draw that conclusion. Ah well, that's the point._

"To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure if we should come, I mean, look at the mess we've made already."

"Nonsense. Your daddy needs healing."

Then a mirror disco ball thing comes down and starts to spin, the lights dim and a song comes on. I don't know the name of the song, as it's older than me, but if I did, there would be an innuendo here, I swear. Then Bobby realises what he said.

"Oh God! I meant help! Help! Oh God."

"Yeah, but the last time we saw you…………………well, let's just say it was unpleasant. You threatened to blast him from behind."

_Bobby's really good at that you know._

"At what?"

_Blasting guys from behind. He's really skilled at it._

"I'm really good at that too, you know." Clark comes in and says.

_I know Clark. I know. In fact, I knew that a loooooooooooooong time ago. _

You know what, I'm going to skip the next line, because so many devilish things come to mind, and not all of them I can make disguised.

"Yeah, well, what can I say? No, I mean it, what can I? I totally forgot my line."

_Merde, baise, scheiße, bumsen, merda, scopata, foda, mierda, cogida. _

I walk off grumbling and the randoms grab their chance.

"Jess and I are mad ghetto nerd dudes!" Kelsey says as she dances away in a Banana suit.

"Voldemort's wearing a suit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck????????" Cassie exclaims.

Then Voldemort apparates out of nowhere. "Excuse me, but I think my suit if very stylish. So stylish, in fact, I think I'm bringing sexy back." He then disapparates.

"Wow, he didn't kill anyone." Shari points out.

Voldemort then comes back and kills Clark, but he survives miraculously, because that's what Superman does. He just doesn't die.

"Whoa man. I'm stoned off my --------"

_Cut! Cut! Cut!_

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**Next Week on Supernatural**

"Oh, my God Dean! I'm so sorry."

"Ah Sam."

"No, save your breath my sweet brother. I do not want you to cross onto the other side to be beside our mother."

"Sam! Stop with the poetic crap and call me an ambulance so I don't bleed to death!"

"No! Not my Deany!" Kelsey then appears out of thin air and cries over Dean's……………………yes.

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**Author's Note:** Was I right about the humour or was I right? Like I said, things have happened, not as weird as I was, haven't been in the mood to do this, only updated as a request and a thank you to Armaan. Thanks for reviewing, you seriously don't know how much it meant. 


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